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School Locked Down to Find Gunman

November 10, 2010 by · Leave a Comment
Violent_crime

Radcliffe Elementary in Beech Island was locked down this afternoon because a student said she saw a man with a gun.

The girl was alone putting away books when she said she saw a man dressed in black with a gun. Because of the specifics she gave, the school reacted quickly and began a search. SWAT deputies were called to the school, only to find no gunman.

Parents were gathered outside the school that holds 800 students, waiting in anticipation for news.

After questioning the child to a further extent after the teams were called off, she said that she wasn’t sure what she saw was a gun. Faculty doesn’t believe anyone was on campus with a gun, but the girl probably won’t be punished.

An investigation is ongoing.

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Student May Be Expelled for Having Bullet Fragments

October 7, 2010 by · Leave a Comment

A kid in North Augusta is being recommended for expulsion after he brought spent bullet pieces to school. They are expected to speak with the Area 2 Advisory Council, but young Hunter Johnson’s father doesn’t understand all the bother.

The school’s policy is relatively clear – any kind of gun or ammunition in a student’s possession is grounds for firs offense expulsion recommendation. Even toy guns and things that resemble ammunition are grounds for suspension and/or expulsion.

Still the father, ever cynical, is unmoved:  “Rocks could do the same amount of damage… I just think, yes, he should have some kind of punishment. But he should have gotten detention. He could go behind the school and pull up weeds.”

The story behind the seemingly stupid mistake seems enough to exonerate the boy – he is a hunter, and he and his father were at a firing range, and they were digging up fragments in the clay hills. Hunter forgot that he had a bag of fragments in his pocket – which he dropped and were spotted by a teacher.

Recommendation for expulsion doesn’t necessarily mean Hunter will be expelled, as worse things have gone unpunished, according to the school.

The hearing will take place tonight.

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Meth Toting Teacher Busted, Parents Furious

October 3, 2010 by · Leave a Comment

Today, class, we’re going to learn about a Mossy Oak teacher who was arrested for possessing meth with the intention of distributing it.

Sarah Feagan McKinnon, who we will refer to as Mrs. McKinnon from here on out, was booked on September 10. However, your mommies and daddies were shocked when they only heard about this from students like you three weeks later, and not from our highly respected school officials.

One parent in particular said that the e-mail she received only stated that Mrs. McKinnon would be “out of the classroom” and replaced with a substitute. Your parents are outraged because finding out about her stupidity would provide them a prime opportunity to talk to you about drugs. Of course, they could talk to you about drugs at any given time, but I guess it’s better when it’s at the expense of someone who gets caught.

Sorry kids, Mrs. McKinnon won’t be here for a long time. However, I can teach you about drugs since your parents missed the opportunity!

You see kids, your teacher was caught on September 10 with a small tin of meth in her crotch, as well as some Xanax. Her husband also had drugs on him. So what’s the lesson to be learned here?

Don’t do drugs if you’re a teacher. It’s embarrassing and sad. I just told you everything your parents would have told you in ten seconds.

Class dismissed!

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